I want to share with you today my life as a Christian---how it has turned out so different than I expected...and yet so real!

Throughout 1995, I had been teaching the study "Experiencing God" at Sunday school when, towards the end of the study, I began to notice that I was slurring certain words as I spoke. It was so slight at first that no one else even noticed it, and I didn’t think anything of it at the time. That was in January of 1996. But by May of the same year, my voice had developed a hoarseness that wouldn’t go away in spite of the usual treatments, and I went to two doctors who were unable to find anything wrong. Finally, by September of ‘96 the symptoms had progressed to the point that I was referred to a neurologist who made the first diagnosis of Lou Gehrig’s disease. By December, I had two more confirming diagnoses, including one from the Mayo Clinic---rated number one in the country in neurology. There was now no doubt---I had Lou Gehrig’s disease. Little did I know when I was teaching "Experiencing God" how soon I would have to practice what I was teaching.

There hardly exists a disease with a more dismal prognosis. Lou Gehrig was the New York Yankees first baseman who, by 1939, had established a record for the most consecutive games played---2,130 games. His physical stamina earned him the nickname "The Iron Horse." That was also the year he benched himself after his game went into a mysterious decline. His record stood for 56 years until it was broken in 1995 by the Baltimore Orioles’ Cal Ripken, Jr. Doctors had diagnosed Lou Gehrig with amyotrophic lateral sclerosis, or ALS---a slow-progressing, incurable disease of the nerves that control the voluntary muscles. The nerves die, the muscles waste away, and the disease eventually kills by paralyzing the muscles needed to breathe. Two years after benching himself, Lou Gehrig died at the age of 37. Doctors have known about ALS since 1874; and to this day, its cause and cure remain unknown.

To put it mildly, 1996 was a bad year for me and my family. My wife’s father had a heart attack, and my father died of stomach cancer while I was at the Mayo Clinic being diagnosed with ALS.

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But long before all this happened, in August of 1986, 11 years ago this month, I bought a Bible at the Agape bookstore, brought it home, and sat down to read it for myself. I had never seriously read the Bible as a adult before. Education, especially my scientific training as an engineer, had already convinced me that everything had a natural explanation, and all religion was myth.

I was drawn to the Gospel of John and the Revelation. As you can imagine, there was lot I didn’t understand at the time; but the simple, straightforward language of John blew away the unexamined belief I had held that the Bible was just one of many religious myths---sort of a Jewish version of Greek mythology, no better or no worse. I was so impressed with the stark truthfulness of John, I could no longer be comfortable with my belief that the Bible was fiction. Jesus Christ was real, and I needed to change.

A week or two later, on a return trip to the bookstore, I noticed a stack of flyers sitting on the checkout counter. A new church had just been started, called Northshore Bible Church; and the pastor, Weldon Buwe, was teaching a free course at the Holiday Inn called "Evidence for Christianity"---exactly what I needed. This 12-week course showed me objective evidence from history and prophecy which reinforced my original conviction that the Bible is true.

About the same time, business was slow and I was able to spend some time at the public library. One of the books that I came upon which had a profound impact on me was called "The Genesis Record" by Dr. Henry Morris. It was basically a commentary on the Book of Genesis, written by an engineer, which demonstrated to me that the Bible and science are not irreconcilable as I once thought. I had already accepted the Bible as true, and this book cemented that conviction.

All this was eleven years ago. Since that time, all the studying I have done has only reinforced my initial conviction. And the quality of that conviction has grown from being based not only on objective evidence, but also on a heartfelt understanding of the Bible’s message.

The claims of the Bible are so extraordinary, that it’s either true or it’s the greatest conspiratorial hoax in history. Which is it? I simply can’t believe that someone like Paul, who had the intellect to write Romans, and the heart to write in 1 Corinthians 13 the greatest definition of love ever penned, could also say "The resurrected Jesus appeared to me, and also to over 500 other people, most of whom are still alive"---unless it were absolutely true. Having studied his letters, I cannot believe that the Apostle Paul was crazy or a liar.

I have come to see that there is a uniquely divine quality to the plan of redemption that no man could have, or would have, invented. Theologians argue endlessly about God’s infinite grace, His sovereign purpose in election, Christ’s substitutionary atonement, and other great doctrines of the Bible---such ideas are so strange to the natural mind. Yet I have found that they all fit perfectly together to form a coherent image of the mind and heart of a transcendent God, not one invented by men.

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What have I learned from having ALS? There is one particular teaching of the Bible that has really rung true for me: James says "What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes." How true. There are no "iron horses," only patches of mist.

Naturally, I have tried to learn everything I can about this disease, looking for a cure. I have spent a great deal of time poring over medical research abstracts at the National Library of Medicine, via the Internet. This is a on-line database of over 9 million medical journal abstracts, and there are over 4000 that deal with ALS. I discovered the absolutely mind-boggling complexity of the human brain and nervous system. Each nerve cell by itself is a complicated chemical factory...and there are billions of them in the brain, all interacting with one another. Believe me...the human brain could not have evolved. I also verified that nobody knows the cause or cure for ALS.

I am weak and humbled. I had overestimated my faith. There had been times in my life when I felt I could not be shaken (when life was going well, coincidentally). Now I feel like Peter, the sinking disciple, to whom Jesus said, "You of little faith, why did you doubt?" But as I have said before, I take consolation in the fact that I need faith only the size of a mustard seed, and that it is not a sin to have your "soul overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death," as Jesus did.

I have wrestled with the question: Is God going to heal me? I don’t know. I believe God still heals. But healing is for the glory of God, not just for me. I pray to be healed, and would ask that you pray also, but I don’t want to fall into the trap, as I feel some do, of trying to manipulate God into healing me...that dishonors Him. Nobody knows whether more will be accomplished for the kingdom of God if I am healed, or if the disease is allowed to complete its natural course. All things will be done at a time and in a manner that maximizes His glory...and I don’t know if that means a medical cure, a miraculous cure, or no cure.

Many people struggle with the problem of suffering and death, and I can understand why. How do we reconcile a loving God with the condition we find ourselves in? Suffering is such an "in your face" experience, that the feeling of God’s love can be overwhelmed by the immediacy of the pain. Couldn’t God snap His fingers and make our problems disappear? Why doesn’t He? I have tried to reason God’s love based on circumstances in my life, and I have stumbled. The bottom line is, no matter how bad things become, and no matter how indifferent to our predicament God seems to be, we can know for sure He is always acting in love towards us, simply because He gave His own Son for us. Could a God who did that ever be indifferent to us? I don’t see how. Just this past week I was at a Bible study where one of the men said that as He was watching his little boy sleeping one night, he thought, "I would die for him." Then he thought "...but I couldn’t give him to die for someone else."

Some people become bitter and angry with God when tragedy strikes. The hostility is misplaced. We know that death and suffering entered the world through sin. I’ve developed a personal hatred for sin, having experienced its result. The most effective way to develop a hatred for sin is to be exposed to its consequences: sickness and death. If you are suffering, don’t hate God...hate sin. And thank God for nailing sin to the cross!

How I feel physically and emotionally changes day-to-day with the sickness---but I know the truth doesn’t. The Word of God comforts me greatly during those times when nothing else can. And I am thankful I had 11 years of preparation to fall back on. Someone once said, "To seek the Lord in time of stress is very good---but it is better that we should not wait so long." How true! We can’t wait until our lamps go out to start searching for oil. We should actively study the Bible, because one day we will all need the comfort and assurance of God’s Word, and we can’t wait until we need it to get it. Bible study is like a long, developing relationship with a person. A marriage ceremony happens in a day, but the marriage relationship develops over a lifetime.

I am thankful for the support of my wife and family. I can not even imagine going through all this without them. I have been overwhelmed by the support of the church in persistent prayer. Even after the initial excitement is over, they continue to pray and send cards.

I would like to close by reading Deuteronomy 32:3-4:

I will proclaim the name of the LORD.
Oh, praise the greatness of our God!
He is the Rock, His works are perfect,
and all His ways are just.
A faithful God who does no wrong,
upright and just is He.

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